Trusting Your Body’s Wisdom when your Mind has a Different Plan

Everyone claims they don’t know what they want.

I don’t buy it.

Each of us has an innate wisdom lives in our body. Our body knows about our safety and our best-interest decision, always.

I think we’re scared to admit that we know what we want because often times the Truth of my Desires, comes with pain. Comes with risk. Comes with fear.

Requires Trust to take the leap.

I sit here, writing to you today in the depths of a very dark experience. Tears flow down my face as I write these words onto this page.

Over the weekend, a series of events happened. Following those events my body asked What are we doing here? Is this relationship in alignment anymore?

So, I write to you from the depths of the Mind-Body Disillusionment. 

The other day, I woke up on a Sunday morning in my Mountain Home, alone. I hadn’t been present with my partner in over four days. And as I awoke, alone and surprised to be alone, my body began to contract.

I felt tense pain in my chest,...

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The Paradox of Intimacy: Embracing Space & Closeness

Most of us have probably heard bits of traditional advice surrounding relationships, something like In order for a relationship to work, you must have similarities AND differences. So the concept of embracing Separateness in Intimate Relationships as much as Closeness, may be a familiar idea. And yet, WHY is does this contradicting paradox exist in the realm of Intimate Relationships?
 
Here’s what I’ve come to understand: Intimacy, is the connection of two separate individuals; coming together to create a NEW, third entity, which is “us”. While the connection of the two, the joining, the togetherness, is what technically defines the intimacy-- there is something else to consider.
 
Intimacy cannot exist without separateness. As intimacy is the joining of separate individuals-- if the separate individuals cease to exist (joined/morphed together)-- how is INTIMACY to prevail?
 
In other words: In order for intimacy to exist between...
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The Importance & Role of Safety in Partnership

Safety-- this word is tossed around quite a lot in intimacy and relationship space. And for good reason, Safety is an absolutely crucial puzzle piece to creating and sustaining a thriving, mutual partnership (in my view).
 
What exactly does safety entail though? I feel safe that my partner will not physically abuse me...is that enough? How can me and my partner actually establish a baseline of safety in our union?
 
Safety in Relationship is the knowing that both myself and my partner honor ourselves, each other & our union with compassion, love & respect in every given moment. Safety means that even when we are facing difficult challenges, we still adhere to our mutual agreements around trust, behavior and communication. Safety is the knowing that we have each others back, above having the backs of any outsiders. Safety means US FIRST.
 
What I just described are some of many ways I experience safety in my personal relationships. And the...
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The Weight of Expectations on your Partnership

With the drastic shift in the stability of relationships over the last 100 years or so, many are left wondering what factors have caused the institution of marriage to crumble at a steady rate of 50%? And furthermore, of those marriages that did stay together, what is the cause for so much disappointment in the relationships that do last?
 
In my studies, research and life experience I have seen many, many factors that contribute to the demise of or the dissatisfaction in relationships. And, there is one specific factor that I see present almost everywhere, which I am going to speak to today.
 
Here’s something I hear frequently from clients and friends in my life: He’s great. He’s attentive and so caring. He’s got a solid job that he is passionate about and can support me when I need him. The sex….is amazing. And he’s so gentle and explorative leading up to it! Our chemistry is undeniable and I enjoy our conversations. BUT,...
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How to Avoid Losing Yourself in a Long-Term Partnership

One of the things I see most in my practice as a Relationship Coach is clients who are in a long-term-relationship and begin to feel like they’ve lost themselves in that union over time.
That is, something like: I fell so madly in love with this person, and our lives began to merge. It felt blissful and natural as it happened. As the months or years when on, we merged friend groups, hobbies and moved in together. All the while I’m slowly losing touch with those people, activities passions that make me, ME. And all of a sudden I wake up one day, miles down the relationship road, wondering “Who the Fuck Am I Anymore?”
 
Does this sound familiar to you? Have you ever had an experience like this before?
First of all, I want to note that you are not alone in this. You are not silly, stupid or wrong here. This is a common experience for millions of individuals-- because when we fall in love, we are literally high on drugs (chemicals that get released...
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