The Difference Between Attachment and Love

Love. It’s a word we use so freely that it’s actual meaning can feel quite devoid. What is Love truly?
 
Is Love something that we can give to someone, only to ‘take back’ moments later when they’ve disappointed our expectations?
 
Is Love something we have to earn?
 
Is Love something we inherently are made of?
 
These are the questions I am here to unpack today.
 
In order to anchor this conversation down with something tangible, I will be referencing examples and experiences from my own partnership to illustrate this message.
 
When I say I love you, what do I really mean?
I will love you, as long as you love me?
I will love you, as long as you don’t hurt me?
I will love you, as long as you’re following our rules?
 
When I think of Love in such a disposable way, it feels cheap, fraud and devalued in my eyes. Does Love truly exist under such circumstantial preferences?
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The Importance & Role of Safety in Partnership

Safety-- this word is tossed around quite a lot in intimacy and relationship space. And for good reason, Safety is an absolutely crucial puzzle piece to creating and sustaining a thriving, mutual partnership (in my view).
 
What exactly does safety entail though? I feel safe that my partner will not physically abuse me...is that enough? How can me and my partner actually establish a baseline of safety in our union?
 
Safety in Relationship is the knowing that both myself and my partner honor ourselves, each other & our union with compassion, love & respect in every given moment. Safety means that even when we are facing difficult challenges, we still adhere to our mutual agreements around trust, behavior and communication. Safety is the knowing that we have each others back, above having the backs of any outsiders. Safety means US FIRST.
 
What I just described are some of many ways I experience safety in my personal relationships. And the...
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Your Partner is your Sacred Mirror (Shift from Criticism to Calling Forward)

Romantic, Long-Term Love: The most terrifying and enchanted experience of this Life on Earth. And, the entire reason we are here.
 
Why is it that we all desire to be in love?
 
Is it a force so natural and embedded deep within us that it is an honoring of lineage to feel such desire?
 
Is it because the idea of falling in love is rich in the media, displayed as an act of pure bliss and alignment that seems to last forever?
 
Or is it because we are each searching for something, hoping to feel Whole and Complete, in the act of connecting to and loving another person?
 
Here’s the thing so many seem to miss: To Love someone is so much more complex than we’ve allowed ourselves to realize. You see, to truly loving someone means to identify and embrace ALL sides of that person. That means their lightness, their joy, their brilliance and their darkness, their pain, their shadows.
I have developed my own theory on why it is that...
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The Weight of Expectations on your Partnership

With the drastic shift in the stability of relationships over the last 100 years or so, many are left wondering what factors have caused the institution of marriage to crumble at a steady rate of 50%? And furthermore, of those marriages that did stay together, what is the cause for so much disappointment in the relationships that do last?
 
In my studies, research and life experience I have seen many, many factors that contribute to the demise of or the dissatisfaction in relationships. And, there is one specific factor that I see present almost everywhere, which I am going to speak to today.
 
Here’s something I hear frequently from clients and friends in my life: He’s great. He’s attentive and so caring. He’s got a solid job that he is passionate about and can support me when I need him. The sex….is amazing. And he’s so gentle and explorative leading up to it! Our chemistry is undeniable and I enjoy our conversations. BUT,...
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How to Avoid Losing Yourself in a Long-Term Partnership

One of the things I see most in my practice as a Relationship Coach is clients who are in a long-term-relationship and begin to feel like they’ve lost themselves in that union over time.
That is, something like: I fell so madly in love with this person, and our lives began to merge. It felt blissful and natural as it happened. As the months or years when on, we merged friend groups, hobbies and moved in together. All the while I’m slowly losing touch with those people, activities passions that make me, ME. And all of a sudden I wake up one day, miles down the relationship road, wondering “Who the Fuck Am I Anymore?”
 
Does this sound familiar to you? Have you ever had an experience like this before?
First of all, I want to note that you are not alone in this. You are not silly, stupid or wrong here. This is a common experience for millions of individuals-- because when we fall in love, we are literally high on drugs (chemicals that get released...
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