Trusting Your Body’s Wisdom when your Mind has a Different Plan

Everyone claims they don’t know what they want.

I don’t buy it.

Each of us has an innate wisdom lives in our body. Our body knows about our safety and our best-interest decision, always.

I think we’re scared to admit that we know what we want because often times the Truth of my Desires, comes with pain. Comes with risk. Comes with fear.

Requires Trust to take the leap.

I sit here, writing to you today in the depths of a very dark experience. Tears flow down my face as I write these words onto this page.

Over the weekend, a series of events happened. Following those events my body asked What are we doing here? Is this relationship in alignment anymore?

So, I write to you from the depths of the Mind-Body Disillusionment. 

The other day, I woke up on a Sunday morning in my Mountain Home, alone. I hadn’t been present with my partner in over four days. And as I awoke, alone and surprised to be alone, my body began to contract.

I felt tense pain in my chest,...

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Four Misconceptions about Personal Boundaries

Boundaries do not equal No.
 
We live in a time and culture where fear is abundant, and safety feels like a bonus, so it’s no wonder that boundaries are becoming a more popular topic of conversation.
 
And as the conversation becomes more mainstream, so leaks the endless information, some quite valid and helpful, and some quite misleading and destructive.
 
Boundaries are often described as putting up a wall, NO, a means of disconnection, or something to be used hastily in a moment when that weird guy is hitting on you at the club.
 
Boundaries are ACTUALLY an incredibly empowering tool that allow me to invite others into a version of more authentic and consensual connection with me.
 
If boundaries are SO amazing, why don’t people use them?
 
Fear.
 
Fear that I will hurt their feelings. Fear that I won’t be liked if I set a boundary. Fear that nobody will enforce my boundary anyway, so what’s...
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The Importance & Role of Safety in Partnership

Safety-- this word is tossed around quite a lot in intimacy and relationship space. And for good reason, Safety is an absolutely crucial puzzle piece to creating and sustaining a thriving, mutual partnership (in my view).
 
What exactly does safety entail though? I feel safe that my partner will not physically abuse me...is that enough? How can me and my partner actually establish a baseline of safety in our union?
 
Safety in Relationship is the knowing that both myself and my partner honor ourselves, each other & our union with compassion, love & respect in every given moment. Safety means that even when we are facing difficult challenges, we still adhere to our mutual agreements around trust, behavior and communication. Safety is the knowing that we have each others back, above having the backs of any outsiders. Safety means US FIRST.
 
What I just described are some of many ways I experience safety in my personal relationships. And the...
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A Personal Story of Grief and Isolation

In the past few years, I have experienced a journey that most people on the planet can not relate with. I have become quite introverted in my BEing, and therefore the details of this journey have only been shared in Intimate Settings.
Today, I feel called to share the juicy depths of this journey publicly, with you right now.
I sharing this story I hope to
+ Connect with other rare souls who have undergone similar grief, loss, and involuntary transformation
+ Create a little compassion for how I Am. I am feeling the strength of my isolation from my peers stronger than ever lately
Almost three years ago, my entire world was turned upside, spun around, and spit back out in a confusing pile of pieces.
The day I received a call, telling me to come home immediately, as my sweet Mamma was found, unconscious on the floor of her apartment.
She wasn't conscious, but she was still breathing, with the help of lots of machines. I needed to get on a plane ASAP if I...
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WTF Happened to Relationships?

I inspired to write this article, because when I look around today (through the lens of my clients in my practice, and in my own daily experience), I see a modern society that is held together by the thin strand of superficial relationships.
 
I really want to see you SO BAD soon, let’s make it happen!
She’s great in almost every way EXCEPT for this one thing?
Are there ANY good men left out there?
 
These are some of the moments I capture in deep observation. Based on these and others, I have defined two main challenges I see in building authentically beautiful caring & inspiring Intimate Relationships.
 
The first challenge is this: In the era of self-love and self-care, many of us have created unrealistic expectations for the caliber of human we are to allow into our world. While this tall order was created from a place of care for oneself, it can be a destructive force in destroying even potentially fulfilling relationships,...
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The Weight of Expectations on your Partnership

With the drastic shift in the stability of relationships over the last 100 years or so, many are left wondering what factors have caused the institution of marriage to crumble at a steady rate of 50%? And furthermore, of those marriages that did stay together, what is the cause for so much disappointment in the relationships that do last?
 
In my studies, research and life experience I have seen many, many factors that contribute to the demise of or the dissatisfaction in relationships. And, there is one specific factor that I see present almost everywhere, which I am going to speak to today.
 
Here’s something I hear frequently from clients and friends in my life: He’s great. He’s attentive and so caring. He’s got a solid job that he is passionate about and can support me when I need him. The sex….is amazing. And he’s so gentle and explorative leading up to it! Our chemistry is undeniable and I enjoy our conversations. BUT,...
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How to Avoid Losing Yourself in a Long-Term Partnership

One of the things I see most in my practice as a Relationship Coach is clients who are in a long-term-relationship and begin to feel like they’ve lost themselves in that union over time.
That is, something like: I fell so madly in love with this person, and our lives began to merge. It felt blissful and natural as it happened. As the months or years when on, we merged friend groups, hobbies and moved in together. All the while I’m slowly losing touch with those people, activities passions that make me, ME. And all of a sudden I wake up one day, miles down the relationship road, wondering “Who the Fuck Am I Anymore?”
 
Does this sound familiar to you? Have you ever had an experience like this before?
First of all, I want to note that you are not alone in this. You are not silly, stupid or wrong here. This is a common experience for millions of individuals-- because when we fall in love, we are literally high on drugs (chemicals that get released...
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